Confusion

im still in love with her but she doesnt feel the same anymore. I think she used to or maybe it was just heartbreak. She trusts me with everything but if i tell her i still have feelings for her all that trust will be lost. I dont know wat to do, my head is spinning. Should i tell her? Should i risk our friendship just to be honest with her? One secret isnt so bad. Is it?

suicide and other depressing subjects

ok well this is kind of hypocritical for me to say because ive tried to kill myself twice in the past 6 months but i think that suicide has no points like i said hypocritical but i made a cuple of mistakes so im ok with that and i think im still aloud to have my own opinion ok so depression and cutting well i think cutting is ridiculous if u haVe so many problems stop sittin around cutting and get off ur ass and try to fix them =p i have clinical depression but its not as bad as ppl make it out to be its jus a negative outlook

religion =p

ok well religon is kind of a touchy subject with me ive battled back and forth between christianity and atheism i havent decided yet on my religion but i think im nearing a conclusion but who knows i mite never decide

closure

ok so closure in a relationship to me is very important it makes me realize its over and allows me to move on i hate wen ppl jus leave without goodbye because i constantly question there motives the whole time they were here
i need closure from a certain someone who knows who she is or atleast simple hello if she wants to be friends i jus need something -jordan hartman

about me

hi im jordan hartman how r ya
lol
i call myself ugly (which i am)
and i call myself fat (which again i am)
already dont like me?
then get out of this blog ur shallow and i hate shallow people
i love playing basketball but since its summer here in texas im swimmin everyday or jus chillin inside with my friends
im still in love with someone who got over me a long time ago but i guess that because i tend to hold on to things for way too long and get my hopes up way too high
im a good person basically but im an asshole at the same time lol
ii care about everyone if i know u or not so if you need help come ask me for it and ill be there promise lol
i fall for girls way too easily which is why it hurts so much more wen they reject me which they always do
ive grown used to it though
im really tall 6'3 so HA
short ppl
lol
jk i love all ppl regardless of stature lol
i hate racists and im not sure of my religion quite yet but i went to a christian school for 7 yrs
ummm well thats pretty much it ill get another blog in soon =] -jordan hartman

08 in short

alrite so i jus got this and i figured why not start with 08 alrite well 08 was an exciting year for me i found my first love (annitaylor constantine) but unfortunately long distance sucks so yea that didnt last im not sure what shes doin but im angry at her cuz she never said goodbye i also moved out of my parents house in 08 i am now living on my own thank you very much and ive pulled my grade up in school (mostly because of anni) i was a sophmore in 08 which was one of the funnest school years for me because i finally found all my friends but unflrtunately had to move away when i left my parents. 08 was also home 2 my second love well what i thought was love her name was lacee and it turns out i was just her rebound guy so she dumped me the second someone better comes along hmmm o!!! i also got my first job (i was underage so dont tell nobody lol) even though i never rlly got over my first love (anni) im ok with that because in sum ways i think ur always gonna love that person no matter what happens in the future soo i wish her the best of luck but i really want to be friends but im not sure where she is or what shes doing atm she may hate me im not sure well anyways thats 08 for me thanks for readin -jordan hartman